Uncle...or should I say Grandpa?

I tutor a darling boy named Bobby on Saturdays. So, when his very attractive mother asked me if she could set me up with her brother (Bobby's uncle,) I immediately responded "Sure!"

"He's 38 though - is that too old? You're what -- 26? He looks really young," she assured me.

Awkwardly, without thinking, I responded, "I'll take anything at this point."

Note to self: Think before speaking.

A few days later Uncle called me. We talked for hours. He sounded cute (I've learned that a man's voice can tell you a lot about their appearance), and had a wide variety of young-sounding interests. Over the next couple of days we talked on the phone, texted back and forth, and instant messaged. On a good note, no e-cards were involved.

We agreed to meet a few days later.

Thus began one of the most awkward dates of my life.

For starters, we agreed to meet at Bobby's family's apartment. The family was out of town for the weekend, and Uncle was babysitting their pet guinea pig. (Weird? Perhaps, but I found it endearing.)

Uncle was about 5 foot 7 (I'm 5 foot 8), and appeared to have lost his neck somewhere along the way. With his head planted awkwardly into his shoulders, slightly hunched over, and wearing an old tee shirt, he greeted me at the door.

The plan was to go out for drinks after meeting up at the apartment, but it was teeming outside, and neither one of us had the motivation to go anywhere.

So, instead we sat on the family's couch for 4 hours, forcing interaction and quickly realizing that a 12 year age difference is a lot of ground to cover. He kept referencing movies, people, and things I've never heard of.

The least awkward part of our date, was the time spent playing with Chuck, the gunea pig. I lay on the floor of Bobby's room for as long as I could without being rude, trying to coax Chuck out of his little gunea pig house, so that I would have something to do.

Why didn't I just leave, you ask?

Well for starters, when I say it was teeming, I mean like torential downpour. Second, I didn't want to be rude. I love Bobby's family, and I didn't want Uncle to tell his mom that I ran out after 20 minutes.

Finally, after four hours, I decided it was time to get the hell out of there.

With a quick awkward goodbye (I believe "uh, take it easy" was muttered from his neckless head) I ventured out into the rain.

Lesson learned? Well there are two.

One: Chemistry over the phone and instant messager does not determine chemistry in person.

Two: 38 is just too damn old.